By RJ Walker
*For anybody else that has been bullied or abused and considered violence
OK, so
Albatross is
perched
outside my window
At all times.
He has a voice like a schoolboy
Stop Hitting Yourself
Stop Hitting Yourself
Stop Hitting Yourself
He has a voice like a father.
Stand Up For Yourself
Stand Up For Yourself
Stand Up For Yourself
He has a voice like an older brother.
Fight Back
Fight Back
Fight back
My god, he is a republican.
Stop Being A Victim
Stop Being A Victim
Stop Being A Victim
You’ll stop getting bullied
when you
stand up for yourself
fight back
stop being a victim
stop hitting yourself
stop hitting yourself
“Ok… Ok…”
I tell Albatross
“Here. I want you to have this.”
And I shoot him through his goddamn guts
with a crossbow made of my fists.
I grab Albatross by the heart
and punch him
until he resembles a mass of dirty red shirts.
Until he resembles a bloody mess
Until he resembles me
and all the corpse he has made out of me.
Not like that!
Squawks Dead Albatross
Not like that!
Oh, but Albatross.
I have stopped hitting myself
and I have started hitting you.
Oh, but Albatross
I am standing up for myself
on top of your neck.
Oh, but Albatross
I am fighting back
see all this blood?
it ain’t mine this time!
But you’re still a victim
Says Dead Albatross
Oh, but Albatross,
So are you, now.
So you will be always.
And now hell is a place for both of us.
You have loved making a monster
out of me, Albatross.
And so you have earned my teeth.
You sharpened them yourself, Albatross.
When the world finds me
I will have 2 broken hands.
I will be covered in bloody feathers.
They will see the dead Albatross
and despair
“what have you done?
Why have you killed
such a beautiful bird?
Only a monster would do such a thing.”
And they are right.
And they will crucify Dead Albatross
to my collarbone and shoulders.
I carry Albatross everywhere I go
A tattoo of a dead friend.
Heavy as the ocean
And all the things it has swallowed.
Albatross has become part of myself now
and I can’t stop hitting myself.